Thinking about the reality of my life
not just the interesting little things I post ( in perfect blog posting land )
the stain-glassed people….
or seem’s hidden ways….
the play on words and what God reveals through them…IPHONE
but what about the nitty gritty
the down and dirty …( in my world : white house on the triangle corner, a river city, in USA)
the daily struggles of being a mom to the greatest little stubborn headed boy and the soon to be teenager daughter running full on into her own selfhood.
I thought that having them so far apart would be good because the older could help with the younger.
What I am finding is that they are both going through major transitions at the same time.
The BABY to a 3 year old BIG BOY -potty training and testing mom’s ever nerve through loudness and repeated offenses of annoyance to his sister.
The GIRL that is becoming a YOUNG LADY who wants to make up her own mind and wants to play– test the mental capacity of the mother in analytical and psychological matters.
What about the instant irritation of not getting my way or having my plans derailed –the anger, the whining, the sulking.
(Did you know that God can turn water into wine but He cant do anything with your whining!!??)
or how about standing in the middle of the kitchen and having a revelation moment of my own selfishness to snap me into a kinder, more loving attitude.
or the sickening feeling when God gives the breakthrough and all its beauty and glorious victory is lost in a instant through boasting.
a testimony into a gloat in 5 seconds flat. ( if you are aware enough you can feel it creep in, and sadly it feels good to the ego mind in need of that high five )
that smile fades to shame just as fast.
My heart …FOR OUT OF IT ARE THE ISSUES OF LIFE….
My soul is a fragile, fickle and testy thing…my heart is the holder of all I stay focused on.
I want to say I can do all things through Christ…..but how often do I stand and say I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN!!??
I am learning not to push but to stand still and await His light to show the way ( all the while I find I am running and tripping all over myself)
My life is not unlike other women’s…
I wake up tired…want to go back to bed the entire week before aunt flow comes to town, all the while I have a husband hanging around knowing she is coming, if you get my drift :0/ –can a Jesus girl even say that !!??
I am not a fan of laundry I find it to be a necessary evil that seems to grow on its own …
and no one else seems to knows how to do it but me!!! Then it even grows when its clean while on the dining room table…(can someone else please put it away!!!! )
My dishwasher has been down for a few weeks while the rest of the house keeps piling on things for the husband to do, keeping him for blessing me with a hands free dish washing experience.
Then there is school, and piano lessons and making it to the gym for some much needed me time…
and don’t forget the occasional outing with the BFF for a reprieve from “daily everything”
— where I can laugh, and talk and spill my guts, be really honest and YES GLOAT!
Does anybody feel me???
Life isn’t terrible and I know that…but it certainly is interesting!! :0)
HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!
PS…remember its not the end of the world …just keep smiling!! I WILL!!
2 Comments Add yours
Thanks for reading Jen…I just kinda felt that I wanted to be a bit open this post. I learning to walk while stumbling…..I will just keep on keepin on.
Starla, boy do I feel this bolg entery tonight! There are times we feel as though we are falling over our feet. I’ll be praying that God will continue to wishper and sometime yell in our ears to remind us to stay on tract with what He has blessed us with(LIFE) even when we sometimes we want to do it ourseleves.