A big word
full of seeing, observing
knowing and catching
I became aware while reading
a set of words that are stuck in me ….festering
“I would say, I am sorry, if I
thought you would believe me”
SO WHAT! your not sorry then?
and you think I wont believe you
so, I am some mass hoarder of non believing
I wonder, is that my track record?
or is that your sin?
I’m sorry “IF” …if …if…if….if what
so you would say sorry if you thought….
SOUNDS like a YOU issue
but here it is AS MINE ….stuck in me like a festering quill
Somehow you managed to turn your wrongdoing
into an assassination of my character
and sadly because IT IS HERE STILL FESTERING…
I LET YOU!
How is that, I ask myself? by believing the lie
and not trusting that what GOD says about me is true
and letting the lie grow in me ….festering.
oh this happened a while ago and life has gone on since then
God help me, forgive me for believing the lie!
It hurt me… angered me
created in me a sense of helplessness and hopelessness
created yet another moment where I believe
some people will never change
making me protect myself by being stand-offish
distant and barely there when together
I don’t trust and at times I fear
thinking if I say much I am overbearing and annoying
this disconnection is disconcerting
I am upset and hurting
GOD HELP ME,
FORGIVE ME FOR BELIVING THE LIE!
Help me to remember Your truth about me.
I AM YOURS!
FULLY LOVED and FULLY ACCEPTED!
People will sin against us but we don’t have to
believe about ourselves, what they give as their reason and
justifications of their sin. An aspect of grace is remembering
that they are struggling with the sin just as much as we are!
…even if we can not see it.
If true forgiveness and reconciliation hasn’t happened
we are all still struggling…