Reading: Days of Deepening Friendship by Vinita Hampton Wright 

Hello I am Back…doing my Thursday Thoughts….I find it really interesting that the chapter I am choosing to do is RIGHT WHERE I AM!! I havent read ahead in this book I am just going along…I took a break and laid the book down and during that break I have been thinking about the very things Vinita addresses in this chapter.. God is good at that if we are listening…so lets get right to it shall we?? :0)

Chapter 19 : How do you get in your own way?

The first sentence or I should say clip of a sentence that stood out to me when reading this chapter is  –  Simple Self-Respect – When you break it down it really is SIMPLE…but we complicate things –don’t we??  (What If I say to so and so that they are walking on me they may stop talking to me all together ) We’re did we get the idea that keeping people who don’t care about us is a good thing???!!! Its simple – respect yourself. You are of worth!!

Vinita says we have to learn to understand what hurts us and what helps us. Something as simple as make up can make a big difference to two people as Vinita tells us. To one make up may give them too much attention and it becomes a hinderance to their being, giving off the appearance of too confident or too flashy whatever the issue this person may be seen as someone to not take seriously. To another no make up may let them hide like blending into the wallpaper and they don’t get to share their gifts or they simply get ignored.

Vinita asks the question : What hurts your progress in life? Our attitudes and beliefs held since childhood really do have to have their stinky little fingers pried from the steering wheel of life. I use to be scared to death to tell the truth in an emotional situation. One childhood experience caused me to be afraid to speak the truth when some one was emotionally charged. I was always in fear that if I told the truth it would come right back and smack me in the face. I would be wrong no matter what. This belief caused me to hide and give over my self-respect and integrity for years. I simple was afraid to stand up for myself and speak MY TRUTH….I have learned that what I KNOW is all I KNOW and that TRUTH is the only way to go!! ~ until I KNOW different. These things that are hanging on us keep us STUCK…in the Muck of FEARing to be real…with others and God…and ourself.

Vinita goes on to talk about hanging around people who are not good for you…do you know who those people are in your life?? OH I KNOW we are Christians we aren’t suppose to judge or be UNLOVING!! RIGHT??!! We take it for granted that God gave us DISCERNMENT. We know when someone is not right for us, for where we are, for were they are….WE CANT FIX PEOPLE! God can!! We will help no one if we can not control ourselves around certain people. You know what I am talking about — the person who makes you feel like you are wrong about everything and so you agree with them (even if it is just a tiny bit with your silence)…or the person who you just can’t stay out of the gossip corner with…or the person who comes around and they lay all this garbage in your mind and you always feel terrible and drained  after they leave…or the person who disrespects your time and you waste a whole week cause they think they live at your house. DONT FEEL GUILTY and tell yourself that you aren’t good enough, strong enough, or loving enough Christian…repent and stand with your DISCERNMENT of these things. Give yourself permission to respect yourself. YOU are one person you can DO SOMETHING about –so DO IT! You KNOW in your KNOWER if someone is NOT FOR YOU!! If they are dragging your down you cant help or do them good and they aren’t doing you good…they need the person who can help them up and so do you.

Taking inventory of the things that harm us and help us is a good thing to do …novel idea anyway…so I will give it a whirl —

Things that harm me :

My ability to blame others for my attitude problem, My need to have things in my kitchen right and so if it is not I get pissy, My ability to whisk myself away when I am hurt causing me to ignore issues and prolonging the situation. My need to deal with it NOW while not allowing others to process their way ( wow those two are opposites )  So naturally next should be my ability to swing from one extreme to the other making me feel Bi-polar.

Things that are helpful:

Being willing to see the reality of the situation in front of me no matter how painful or upsetting, Being willing to speak the truth that is in me so that I do not stuff and smile and turn into a volcano, Being kind to myself within my mind and heart, Resting when my body asks me too instead of pushing myself.

Can you make your own list? Do you know what is good for you and what is not…and who is not?

Have a great THURSDAY!! Blessings

Starla