Assuming – the taking of something as true
I am realizing that this is an epidemic…not only in my mind but for others as well. For me I have finally learned to recognize when I have made an assumption. How do I know? Well – it is in the fact that I am reaction within my mind and soul and I don’t know if what I am reacting to is true…I just FEEL that it is true. I can now know when I am assuming and I place a pause on that subject…until I have more information or I am willing to ask questions. What would happen before I learned this is I walk out my assumptions. Accusing others for what I believe that they have done. Blaming them for my mind trip. Thankfully I have learned to pause.
So what do we do about it: ASK QUESTIONS………..a friend recently told me a story about when she calmly ask questions to another about what she thought she knew. She got her answer and she was right in what she thought. The problem came with the fact that the other person didn’t like being questioned and lashed back in an attempt to be justified in their own eyes. Sometimes when we are on this journey of learning to deal with ourselves we run up against people who refuse to deal honestly with themselves. When we require ourselves to have the truth about something before we move forward with it, it often requires others to do the same. That puts us and others on the spot to be real! People often do not like that.
So when we think we know that someone is upset with us because we can FEEL it. We can go to the other person and ask – “are you angry with me?” This gives the other person the opportunity to deal with their anger and to resolve the situation. Often people will say “YES…because ______? (fill in the blank) Then we begin the task of forgiveness, compromise, and understanding. At this point it is where the rubber meets the road. I have been in this situation before and I have had three different reactions when I was confronted.
1. Tell them I am not angry if I truely am not.
2. I get angry at the other person because I ASSUME that they are trying to just prove me wrong and make me look stupid.
3. I hear them out – recognize the opportunity to learn that I may have overreacted and mark that in my mind as help to get through the next time I come to this type of situation.
We all hope that when we face what we think we know with and about others that it will work out well…and sometimes it just doesn’t – and yet for us it is (another opportunity to learn to love and forgive) but any which way,we have to face it for us, for our growth.
|Mat 18:15||Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.|
At times sadly, the other person just isn’t going to HEAR you…
|Mat 18:21||Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?|
|Mat 18:22||Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.|
and we must forgive them….until they do! Do right…until the SONSHINES!!!