I am on sabbatical for August. So I’ve been preparing and releasing. The Lord has asked for a specific thing offered to Him, so I will do that. I have a few trips with family planned. I have stepped away from social media. I have stepped away from Substack.

I want to continue to capture the goodness and the things that bring me joy, so they will be here. Whatever they may be.

A mental and emotional heart reshuffle

When your husband says one sentence and it changes everything that you thought about the last 28 years….It was five simple words: No, that was a choice.

So it wasn’t because I didn’t have anybody else.

And it wasn’t because I was a pretty girl.

It wasn’t because we were in this predicament.

It wasn’t because he was settling.

….. no, that was a choice.

He chose me, this family, this life. He chose it.

It’s crazy how God can reorient entire histories with honest words that you’ve never heard.

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Psalm 101 song:

A moment of honest connection

A loved one was visiting me recently, and as we sat together enjoying each other’s company, a quiet moment shifted everything.

In a gentle, passing remark, they mentioned how often they felt they had been treated as if they didn’t know enough or weren’t smart enough as a child by the reactions of the people around them. It was spoken so softly that if I hadn’t been fully present, I would have missed it entirely.

But I heard it. I stopped and asked, “Did I ever treat you that way?”

They tried to brush it off, saying, “Yeah, but it’s fine.”

I didn’t let it go. I stopped them right mid-brush-off, turned to them, and apologized for ever making them feel that way.

We all have those moments. We do the best we can, yet we still cause pain. The people who I was around as a child did their best, yet things still hurt me; I do my best, yet things still hurt others. The cycle continues. But the hurt itself isn’t the issue—it’s the ignoring and refusing to restore that does the real damage. In my own past, I’ve brought my pain to others: some received it and chose restoration; others ignored it and chose a different path.

In this recent moment, I made sure I chose restoration.

A bit of the Word and love of words:

I love words, and certain words stick out to me more than others. One of those words is INTEGRITY. Integrity is to be perfect. But not perfect as in sinless, but as in wholeness.

Psalm 101: 2 I will pay attention to the way of integrity.
When will you come to me?
I will live with a heart of integrity in my house.

It is to be sound and single-minded. You know, not double-minded, which scripture says this person is unstable in all their ways. It is integrity is both good intentions – having a pure heart and wise execution – wise actions. This is what it means to have biblical morality.

Psalm 101:6 My eyes favor the faithful of the land
so that they may sit down with me.
The one who follows the way of integrity
may serve me.

Integrity is to live by truth inwardly and also truthfully outwardly toward others. It starts where no one can see, in private and also in public, in character.

CS Lewis talked about integrity in terms of a fleet of ships. Ships must not collide or get in each other’s way. And so with people, we must have fair play and harmony. Ships must be seaworthy with their engines all in working order, and so we must be tidy and have harmony within. Our inward engine must be in order; our desires, thoughts, and motive must work according to the Master. And our general purpose of a ship is to sail to its destination, and so we must know what we were made for.

Psalm 51:6 Surely you desire integrity in the inner self,
and you teach me wisdom deep within.

Thanks for listening,

Starla