Sometimes we forget to be where we are.

Distracted
Full of anxiety
Mind going a million miles an hour

But we are still somewhere, with someone, in someplace that we can be.

Feel the sun.
Talk to the people.
See the place you are in.
Where’s the light?
Experience the joy.
What glory is displayed?

It’s all there but we miss it with our phones in our face.

I know, “ohhh one of those posts, get off your phone blah blah blah”… now hold on a minute.

Life is lived in journeys. Kinda like cycles that layer one upon another. Also, a bit like a giant staircase that we must grow -tall enough to climb- each new step. I am now on my second half of 40’s — I’ve lived a little and I’ve been journaling since I was a teenager. I notice patterns, cycles, themes, and reoccurring lessons. So, these statements above are coming from someplace I’ve been able to track.

In Jan 2019, I wrote sugar and social media, a blog post about joining with my church in a corporate fast. In another post about I share what I was going to do for the fast I wrote:

The Lord has asked me to give up two things: sugar and social media. I feel like I am about to be in the fight of my life. The first thing I thought of was “how the heck am I going to drink my coffee in the morning without my teaspoon of sugar?”  The second thing…social media. I wrote, “I heard the Lord whisper to give it up. I ignored Him. Instead of wrestling with even a minute (tiny) speck of giving it up I focused on how to flavor my coffee without sugar and settled in for denial.”

I ended up no sugar in coffee and took a social media fast.

In April 2019 I wrote this: “…my son had his 11th birthday and I allowed myself a small piece of cake. I had been saying for weeks and weeks “I just know that if I allow myself to eat that stuff again, it will eat me alive.” I was right. Monday was 43 days since I ate that first tiny slice of cake. Monday, I ate 3 pieces of cake while watching a series on Netflix.”

In August 2019 I did an Evalution and I wrote this:

Every once in a while a good evaluation of the heart, mind, and spirit is in order. How do I know if its time to do that?

1. I am spend a lot of time on social media distracting myself from what’s happening in life.
2. I have a pounding headache by the end of every day.
3. I find that everything that I do feels like pulling weights through water.
4. I feel myself unable to control my irritation and anger that I usually am able to hold and release.

In September 2019 I did another social media fast. I apparently had shifted and set my phone down more but again chose social media fast.

Ok, so full confession I have struggled with sugar and social media since that first day in January of 2019. If you have been a reader of this blog for any length you know that I reference this struggle with social media that I ended up calling the “scroll life.” It never was really about social media or how much I post. I would.t know that because I wouldn’t wrestle with it. It was always about the wasteful scroll life. But here’s the thing. Today I am free.

I drink my coffee black with a little cinnamon now. Yes, I eat sugar, but I can say no, now. And remember how I wouldn’t even entertain a wrestle with it. Well, I did. Over and over through these blogs for years. I know that none of this is me. I can set stuff down. I can be disciplined. I can say no. I have a good amount of self-control. But these two. nope. This wasn’t me. It was the Lord.

I morning I woke up and was out of maple sugar and cream for my coffee. I drank it black and didn’t hate it. It’s been that way since sometime in early November 2024. I remember I didn’t hate it. lol But I also didn’t put together freedom came from sugar in a cup without it just like on the first day of January 2019

Then Thursday morning, Thanksgiving Day 2024, I woke up and had a desire to go directly outside in my bare feet to stand on the grass and breath the cold air. When I came inside my phone was on my desk and I didn’t pick it up. Now daily, that is where it sits. I don’t scroll on it. Here’s the kicker, remember those 4 things from the evaluation – distraction, headache, heavy feeling life, anger issues. All 4 of those things are relieved also.

I’m not using my phone to distract myself – I am back to writing more than ever.

I don’t have a headache from look at the screen all day.

My way of doing life isn’t overloaded, and life feels pretty good.

and I am looking at what’s under my anger in the sadness.

It’s amazing to me. Because like I said, “I’ve been struck struggling and being made to wrestle with these exact things for years. And guess what – Jan 2025 I will walk into the 7th year from the beginning with freedom. That just blows my mind and proves that GOD is awesome in every way.

Today I opened up the book of Joel. I say a post yesterday and I clipped it:

I decided to read it. I’ve recently found myself loving the Literal Standard Version of the Bible. In the book of Joel, the land is drying up. The fruit, oil, and trees are drying up and a mighty nation of locust has coming against them. Joel is warning them, if you do not return to the Lord something worse is coming.

The first verse that stood out to me was Joel 1:12b FOR JOY HAS BEEN DRIED UP FROM THE SONS OF MEN.

My train of thoughts went like this: What happens when your soul dries up? When you feel like you are dry and just doing what is necessary. There is no energy to do what is “abundant” — waste comes.

Joel 1:17 SCATTERED THINGS HAVE ROTTED UNDER THEIR CLODS

We miss all the scattered goodness. All the grace amongst the dumpster fire days gets ruined and rotted. There is a lot of waste and being wasted.

Joel 1:20 (EVEN THE WILD AMIMALS PANT FOR YOU) FOR DRIED UP HAVE BEEN STREAMS OF WATER, AND FIRE HAS CONSUMED LOVELY PLACES OF THE WILDERNESS.

Joel 2:11 AND YAHWEH HAS GIVEN FORTH HIS VOICE BEFORE HIS FORCE, FOR HIS CAMP IS VERY GREAT, FOR MIGHTY IS THE DOER OR HIS WORD, FOR GREAT IS THE DAY OF YAHWAY – VERY FEARFUL, AND WHO BEARS IT?

Joel 2:12-13 …TURN BACK TO ME WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND WITH FASTING AND WEEPING AND WITH LAMENTATION. AND TEAR YOUR HEART, AND NOT YOUR GARMENTS AND TURN BACK TO YOUR GOD YAHWEH, FOR HE IS GRACIOUS AND MERCIFUL, SLOW TO ANGER, AND ABUNDANT IN KINDNESS, AND RELENTING FROM EVIL.

Has God been calling us all back for these 6 long years… and as we turn and return over and over, fail and flail over and over. In the end He is still the One who will be victorious and get His people over. He will get us to where He is taking us. This is what is so beautiful about being on this side of the cross of Jesus Christ. We do not do the work! HE DOES~!

And look at this promise in Joel 2:14 The one who turns back knows that God has relented because He left behind Him a blessing to give back to Him.

When He relents – He leaves blessing behind Him.

How glorious is our God!

Thanks for Listening,

Starla

PS – if you are not journaling, I highly recommend beginning! I think if I didn’t journal. I would have missed a substantial amount of what God has been doing in me, through me, for me, for His glory.