We only have so much time. 3 parenting adjustments & an extra.

He is my youngest. The baby. He is growing so fast.

All children grow so fast. It happens while we are working. It happens while we are trying to make ends meet. It happens while we are struggling with stress and caught up in our own things. It’s happening.

We only have so much time with our kids and sometimes we forget to slow down enough to enter into their world. We help shape how they think by absence or by connection. I’m not judging. It happens. Will you join me in being one of those parents who are keenly aware of how much time we really have.

To find our how much time you have click this link (add today’s date and the date of your child’s 18th birthday. )

Don’t get me wrong. We will continue to parent. I know that. I have a daughter who is now married and going to be a parent herself. She asks me questions and I listen a lot. Its a different kind of parenting but I am still being a parent.

3 parenting adjustments:
1. We need a self-awareness to catch when we are expecting too much of our kid. They have no idea how to navigate life. We have to stop thinking they should have it all figured out and be completely self-controlled, so that, we are not embarrassed by their behavior. Give them grace and support. Help them navigate. Ask them questions to help them discover what was happening inside their hearts and minds. Jesus was the best teacher. In Matthew 11:28-30 He said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” May we become self-aware so that we are able to love like Jesus. Don’t make life hard on them by not helping them become all they can be. Are you able to catch yourself when you are overly expectant of your kids?
2. We need to become observant of our kids. If we will learn how they are created and what hooks them and hurts them, so that, we are able to help them instead of control them. They will grow to become self aware themselves. In Proverbs 22:6 it says,”Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” If we train our kids to become what we want them to become instead of being observant of who they are and helping them be that, they will struggle all their lives. Living between what everyone else said they should be and who they actually are is a struggle they don’t have to live if we will be observant of who God created them to be. About 10 years ago I was praying for my kids and I had this impression in my mind that the way I was to parent my kids was similar to how they were in the womb at the end of my pregnancy. Let me explain. My daughter was breach and she had barely any room to move. She needed very clear boundaries and guidelines. As she grew she didn’t need a lot of space to roam. She was very content to be home and was more of an introverted personality. She stuck close to me. My son in the womb, at the end, was a total different story. I gained 50 pounds and I was huge. He was born 4lbs. 13oz. No wonder I felt like he was doing acrobatics in my tummy. As he has grown he needs more room to roam. He needs wider perimeters and room to figure it our on his own. He is an extroverted personality. He is a social butterfly. What have you observed about your kids?
3. We need to be present in the moment, so that, we can have meaningful interaction with them about what is really going on in their lives. If we don’t model and teach them these things they will struggle just as long as we have to mature. These are God’s kids. So lets take care of them. 1 Corinthians 10:31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Are you able to slow down and enter into the moment with them and really connect?

EXTRA: I recently heard on a John Maxwell Leadership podcast a great idea. (Follow that podcast at that link.) The co-host said that he pays his daughter to read books of his choosing. I ran with the idea. Since I am not a guy and I don’t understand the man brain or emotions. I bought a book written by Josh Shipp (check him out at that link) called The teens guide to world domination. (get the book at that link) This book has allowed me to have some wonderful conversations with my son about what is really going on in his life, mind and heart. It has helped him think about situations at school and home in a different light. Its been a great conversation starter. We only read 5 minutes a day. Its really good and yes this book is that good that 5 mins of reading is enough time to have great, quick, memorable conversation moments.

Life flies by so fast. Will you join me in making the most of the days you have left until yours are 18?

Thanks for Listening,

Starla

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