Day 1 – He Is Near

I have been sick for a week. I am finally starting to feel normal again. Yesterday I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, “Oh yeah, I am feeling better. I have a sparkle back in my eye.” I am glad to be on the mend.

One night, about 4 days into this sickness I came to speak with the Lord. I asked Him to speak to me. I was feeling bad because I had been silent to Him for several days. I heard Him say, “Why do you retreat and fade into the distance when tough things happen?” I blamed Him. I had asked for prayer. I had asked Him to heal me. He didn’t. So, I quit talking to Him.  I said to Him, “If you are the healer, then why didn’t you heal me?” Can you hear my heart like a little child scared of this big broken messy world looking for someone to save me? This exchange with the Lord caused me to ponder and look deeper into my heart.

Why do we run mentally, emotionally, or physically when brokenness breaks out in our lives?

I am the kind of person that wants answers to all the why questions. I want to know the reason behind what is happening in my life. My mom says there is a reason for everything. I have been a “why” girl my whole life. Trust doesn’t come easily for me without answers. It has been a lifelong struggle. As I began to search my heart a verse came to mind.

James 4:3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

It was true. I wanted healing more than I wanted Jesus at that moment.

Be careful that you don’t want healing more than you want Jesus. – Tweet This!

God is a relational God, not a genie. In a world where we quarantine the sick, tell them to stay home, turn into germaphobes when we see people sneeze and cough during flu season it is a strange and foreign thing for me to understand that my God wants to be with me when I am sick. Especially when no one else does. He wants to be with me when I hurt and when I am lonely too. When I am too busy blaming Him for not fixing it and others for being sick. My God wants to come and be here with me.

Isaiah 61:3 -to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit…

This is why Jesus doesn’t just want to fix all our problems. He wants to invite us to be with Him in our situations. His heart is to be with us. This is why He sent Jesus to die. So that the Holy Spirit could live in us. Be with us. I don’t know when I will get it through my thick skull or trepidatious heart that when I am with Him nothing stays the same, His very presence changes me. Every time. Even if I don’t see that quick fix. Something has changed.

“You say come to Me and I will give you rest

but in this busy world, I just keep on runnin’

And when I stop and see Your face

suddenly it all begins to change

Not because it’s different

Just because Your here

Jesus, You are near. “

PRAYER: 

Father, forgive me for wanting a fix it when I can have all of You. Help me Lord to remember who You are. You are my Daddy, who takes care of me. I can trust You. 

Are you sad today? Are you walking through a broken disaster of life? Are you in need of something today? Don’t make the same mistake I did. He is calling all the time, “Come to Me and I will give you rest.” Rest from the loneliness. Rest from the pain. Rest from the worry and anxiety of trying to figure it all out. He is near.

Its fitting that today is Valentines day. Make a date with Jesus.

Thanks for Listening,

Starla