We attended the Art of Marriage hosted at our church.

I was surprised when he agreed that we could go. He is so busy working 14 hour days doing tree service that I am use to him coveting his time off and not applying it to something like a 2 day retreat.

The sessions where great. It certainly was a very well put together presentation.

The books are high quality. The videos we watched were engaging. It made me laugh, cry and get serious. But most of all God used it to reveal something hidden in my heart that I did not know was there. I spoke the truth’s that were rising up into my mind that were found deep under layer of worry and fear and justification. And while that brought closeness and understanding and a determination to take care and be watchful with knowing that acceptance between spouses is so important. 

It was the love letter writing session that ohhh so touched me!

My husband was present and engaged …

I would recommend this for any married couple!!

What a great weekend! When we are both so focused on each other it feels like we can conquer anything and love will never end.

Its interesting how after this kind of retreat there is an excitement and shiny polish of love dripping in closeness and joy and then real life happens. The polish dulls and the excitement fades. The ME ME ME’s come back into the picture and the fight is on. Marriage is an uphill battle and it is hard work to stay connected to your spouse. Work, kids, housework, church, friends, family…BUSY. When on the high, I forgot that I can be a defensive person and prone to be selfish.  Kindness and gentleness are not always my first choice when I feel like I haven’t been heard or I am feeling hurt by what I feel are callous words.

And while we don’t deal with gross sin or terrible conditions, the condition of disconnection is enough to create a great need for the love of Christ to be The Balm to bring us back together. Only by Jesus can we be in unity. I was looking at the word FORBEARANCE this week. John Piper said

Within love is forbearance. You may not like what is happening but if you are walking in love you will bear with it. You just deal with it. You love anyway.

God’s ways are so different than ours. We tend to think if I don’t like it then my spouse must change it. But God says to FORBEAR. God asks us to be patient or self-controlled when subjected to annoyance or provocation. I usually don’t want to forbear, I want to CHANGE IT. NOW. So I can have peace. But in truth the only way to do that ….is to let the God of peace reign in me.

Here’s to keep walking, working and forbearing in marriage…

starla