MANIPULATIVE HINTING

I was surfing the net and came upon a comment from a woman on a website. Something she said  just struck me as interesting. She said ” My boyfriend hates to receive clutter and little fussy gifts but I have found out what he loves.”

How often do we do that with our spouses, get them things we think they would like instead of what they would love….or how often do we let our spouses guess what we want because we want them to make a intuitive thoughtful shot at it. In my book I have a chapter called Asking For What You Want and this sentence I came across reminds me of that.  If we aren’t asking for what we want and need…WE ARE HINTING!! Hinting is going around the point. Tapping our foot on it in a indirect fashion. Which often gives people a feeling of uneasiness. They either dont know what we are saying because we arent clear…or they feel like they are being manipulated…and that is what HINTING is all about – MANIPULATION TO GET WHAT WE WANT. This may work but I tell you that it will leave a bad after taste. No one likes to be manipulated. SAD THING – we do it all the time!!!!

Example: YES I DO IT TOO!! :0/ (I have shared this story before but it is a perfect example)

After the Christmas holidays we set out to put the house back in order. We tuned on some tunes to get in the clean up groove. We took the tree down…put away all the ornaments…cleaned up all the boxes from all the stuff. Reclaimed the room for dining. Then we moved on to the living room. I went on to the kitchen. Now the back of my kitchen has a little table that is the catch all of the house. It drives my nuts….it is often cluttered up. As I am doing dishes and my husband who is now sitting in his lazyboy…. I said  ” Hey babe what are you going to do with that kerosen on the table in here??” He says back ” Are you hinting at me?  Is that your way of asking me to clean off the table?” There I was BUSTED for hinting…at that moment I got it…that this hinting thing is more wide spead than I knew.

BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR AREAS WHERE YOU HINT!!!

Back to my first sentences: Find out what your loved ones really want and give that…It could be as simple as taking their car to the car wash and vaccuming it out..I WOULD LOVE THAT!!! btw: I told my husband:0)

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.

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