Avoiding

Do you avoid ?? I got asked that question in an email today. I do…I have a tendency to avoid if I have gotten into a situation like a disagreement or getting my feelings hurt. I avoid if I differ in opinion so as not to cause an issue -I shut up I choose peace, I choose to let it be if I see it’s heading to contention.  I avoid…not totally ignore. Just avoid -For me to avoid is to succeed in keeping away from something dangerous or undesirable…for me danger and something undesirous is CONFLICT. I cant stand it. I have  instead gone with withdrawl until conflict has subsided..especially with the conflict within — I wait until I know what happened then communicate, hoping that talking about it will end it..and how do I usually tell that the conflict is over??? The evidence is we behave as we did before the conflict = Friendly and kindly and interested in the other person. I use to push the issue in the old days. I would make my case to the person, cry, beg for forgiveness, anything to stop the conflict–in a way you could say I was trying to manipulate the situation (for a good outcome of course :0P) but this rarely works. If I was to ignore the people or situations –well that would be like total rejection. I do not like to reject although I have been there and have done that, and being rejected is not a nice feeling. Avoiding however gives you and others space. It gives time to sort out all the thoughts and feelings and reasonings to find truth. Truth that comes from within when you take time to seek it. So yeah I avoid….until the storm passes by. Sometimes it seems, to avoid isn’t such a bad thing and yet avoiding can cause others to feel unloved, uncared for…and at times we have to choose to avoid to avoid being hurt ourselves…and yet even then self-protection may not be the way!

One Comment Add yours

  1. Kelly says:

    Avoidance for a short time can help, but if left untouched a situation can then fester and grow infected like a flesh wound. A scratch can be often times ignored, avoided, because it’s just a scratch and leaving it alone can be helpful, yet… sometimes that untreated, avoided problem, can become infected and eat away at the person’s skin. Trouble/problems/issues will do the same, if left alone, they can cause someone to become full of the infected feelings of doubt, fear, anxiety, pain, grief, etc.

    Great blog Starla!!

    Like

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