Happy New Years! Here we come – 2024!

This past week: It was the last week of 2023. We were out of the office. So, I took the opportunity to go see my mother and my sister. Sometimes you need to go where the people who know you the longest. So that you can say all the sad and ugly things your soul won’t say anywhere else. There is something about going to wherever your first family lives. There aren’t very many of them left any more. In 2006, we lost my grandfather, Poppy. Every day, he would say to my Grammy, “Mamie, I am going to do ________ (insert thing) tomorrow.” But the night he passed away, he said, “Mamie, I’m going to bed, goodnight, I love you.” And he didn’t wake up in the morning. Three months later my aunt Janice passed away and a couple months later my uncle. A few years ago, my Grammy passed away. So then all of the people who still lived at where I would call home, “Old Canyon Rd.” had passed on. I need to call my cousins who also grew up there. This weekend I saw my sister and spent the weekend with my mom. I feel like I dropped off some sadness and heartache and picked up some “self-respect” and some “get up girl.”

Hard truth: I am tired of the way some things are and I have been talking about using a dumpster in my life lately. The other day I called the line of events that happened that were insane a “dumpster fire day.” Things have been just frustrating, hard, hidden sadness deep inside, annoying and all I can manage to speak in prayers is “Lord Help! HELP” I have felt like I am done! Just DONE! As we were driving home from visiting my mom, I saw the back of a flatbed truck. I have never seen anything like this every before. They had 9 dumpsters stacked on top of each other. To clarify, 5 on the bottom and 4 on top. I know you were thinking a “cat in the hat” stack. Yes, the trailer was heavy, it was a little lopsided. But the thing that really got me was each dumpster had the word GRACE on them. Out of nowhere my heart fills with joy. I feel a shift and I am smiling, and calling out to the rest of the car, ”Do you see that? God is saying we are going to have grace upon grace for 2024 Dumpster loads of Grace!” I had the sense that every dumpster fire kind of day – I need to be looking for the grace. Grace toward me, for me, in me, and grace to give out. “Lord help me!” is a powerful prayer. It’s the end of me and when you walk through hard stuff, we have to keep faith knowing that God is there, and He will show up in ways that are unexpected. Stay awake… keep looking!

Words, statement and verse for 2024:

ART * POETRY * PREPARE
Do the hard things.
Look for the grace.

For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you. Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace. In the day of trouble, I call upon you, for you answer me.

Psalm 86:5-7

Let’s break that down a little bit….

ART: My daughter got an art set from my mom. She began drawing faces and LOVED IT. While at my mom’s house I said, “I don’t have the patience to draw like that anymore.” Well, then after we got home my daughter says, “Surprise, I got you an art set for Christmas. It came late. You said you don’t have patience for this anymore but …. ehhhh Merry Christmas.” I haven’t drawn in years. I normally draw faces. But I did see a drawing of a bird a few days ago and thought wow that would be cool! So…. I gave it a try.

Two things I want to keep in mind:

1. Do the hard things. That’s simply anything my inner self just whines and says it’s too hard right now. I’ve been doing that for some time. Simple things like the canning jars that won’t fully come clean in the dishwash. So, I’ve just left them in there, too overwhelmed with a simple task. Today, I cleaned them.

2. Watch for the grace…. Grace in Greek and Hebrew means beauty, attractive. It has the sense of seeing with your eye, to behold. See what God is doing right in front of you!

And then that Verse: ASK FOR IT – Plea for Grace!! LORD HELP!!

Line I heard in a song that speaks life to me: I don’t want anyone to soothe me, if it isn’t You. I don’t want anyone to move me, if it isn’t You. Ravish – Kelsey Breedlove

An overcoming moment: When I was 13 years old, I went with my Grammy on a trip. On the trip, I picked out an expensive hat that I thought was so awesome. I wore it to school, and someone made fun of me for it. I don’t even remember who said it. But that goes to show us that people may not ever remember us but what we say and how we treated them can hurt and scar for a long time. I don’t wear hats. If I do they are LOUD and OVER THE TOP on purpose so that I can mask my feelings of feeling stupid in them with silliness. Well, my mom bought me a hat for Christmas. I thanked her but inside I could hear that old tape playing. After I got home from what was a much-needed couple of days with my mom and sister and daughter and her kids. And after the dumpster load of grace, we saw driving home. I went in the bathroom and tried it on and smiled. I like it. I felt cute. I felt me.

Thank you GOD!~ it’s not every day that you hear God’s voice, do stuff you’ve been stuck in, overcome old lies, and start something new! I am so blessed.

Thanks for listening this week…

Starla