Questions For The Road:

1. What would be different for you if Jesus was physically present WITH you?
2. Stop for a moment and forgo the question of “Why” in your current struggle, and ask the question of “What”. What do you think God is actively doing IN and THROUGH this struggle, or you—right now?
3. What have you left “unaddressed” that the Holy Spirit wants to use this season to address and bring restoration?

• Oh, this is such a good question because it digs into the ways I do not live by faith. After all, I wish I could live by what I see but then that wouldn’t be faith, would it? If Jesus was physically present with me I would want to hang out together a lot. I would want to hold His hand and walk together. I would want to just sit in His lap and let Him hold my scared and overtired heart. ANNNDD… That is why He is not physically here, goodness, that would make for some awkward conversations with my husband. Lol But He is here in Spirit! I can hang out with Him, walk with Him and He certainly has held my scared and overtired heart together. The faith part for me comes in slowing down and letting Him do that slower work that I would rather speed right through or skip all together.
• What I think God is actively doing in and through this struggle that I am in right now is bringing me back around to some former places. I am an enneagram type 1, which means that I really like order and I absolutely do not like to miss anything or forget what I am responsible for. However, in some seasons it is necessary to set aside some things that may get in the way of doing what I need to do. I don’t forget easily and often things will spin in my mind until they are taken care of, which means that I have to do something with them so that they do not distract me. Some fears and hurts that the enemy has tried to use to deter me have to be set aside. For me, that looks like putting these things in a mental hallway closet or room somewhere in my soul. But when it is over and I have done what I have been called to accomplish the Lord will circle back to some items that have overstuffed the closet. I gave Him permission a long time ago to bring up to me what needs to be dealt with. The Lord has me in the hallway dealing with things that have overflowed the closets. It’s the things like hurt, anger, sadness that He reveals as places He desires to bring repentance, restoration, and a return of joy. If He brings it to you, He will bring you through it if you cooperate with the Spirit who is doing the work in you. 
• I do my best to be un-offendable. I don’t like being touchy or easily upset by silly things. I believe that life is hard, but God is good. I also believe if you don’t have at least a little thick skin all the small things will cut you like a million paper cuts. I know that people talk about their lives and situations that they go through. Which means my name might be on their lips. It’s not always a bad thing. People need to process. It’s when people don’t process that I have an issue. It is then that emotions come out sideways and sometimes they kick me with their mouths. That I struggle with! Those are the things that end up in my hallway closet that later bust into the hallway. What’s even worse is the times I kick people. I hate that it happens. I believe that it is best to have good control of your emotions, and your mouth, so that you don’t bleed on other people. I have pretty good control. But that also means when a situation is just right, particularly hard, fully charged with emotion, and coming from multiple directions, there is bound to be trouble. (enter all of 2020 here!) Here’s my trouble, when my emotions come out sideways and I kick people, I kick hard and in a big way. I have some clean-up on aisle 4 to do. 

I so appreciate Pastor Chad having weekly questions for us to unpack. Are they easy to answer? No. Especially in my case. Lol, since I write about them here. But I can tell you what I know from experience. I know that in order to grow you must grow through what you go through.

I believe these questions help us to grow through the struggle because to answer them we must slow down long enough to give our soul space, to be honest, and real. Those 2 things God can always work with. If not, He has to bring us to the same lessons over and over until we choose to go through it.

All is grace,

Starla