Why do I shhhhhh myself when upset?

Better a bleeding tongue than a family member’s wounded heart.

– Karen Ehman

Proverbs 14:29 Whoever is patient and slow to anger shows great understanding, but whoever has a quick temper magnifies his foolishness.

I remember a time when I was quick tongued and vocal when I was upset, spewing my upset and pain, thinking that I had every right to say how I feel. Honestly, I had no concern for how the other person felt just as long as I got to say my peace. (which is NO PEACE but just more unrest and chaos.) If I didn’t like it, they heard me! I learned that a mouth uncontrolled, was a heart full of mess and a heart full of mess, created chaos on purpose… because I didnt know how to get what I needed. So, I acted like a foolish little brat! I hurt people and pushed them away. But there is something we can do to come up higher…

I don’t speak all my mind. I don’t let whatever I feel express out all over my face. Although my face does react and respond I don’t always speak what I think. I rather take time to choose whether it is appropriate or not to do so.

Proverbs 29:11 A fool speaks all his mind: but a wise man keeps it in till afterwards.

I highly prize self-control. I believe it is imperative to be able to keep your mouth shut and listen. To not be a hot head who vents their first feelings.

James 1:19 let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.

Resistance is always internal. It’s not the facts of the case that are the problem, but how we emotionally respond.

– Pressfield

When we practice patience, silence, being quiet, and things like that it helps up to build self-control. It is a practice that disciplines our body, especially the tongue, so that we are able to slow down the process of response and reaction. The scripture says that “the anger of man does not bring about the righteousness of God.” So, we have a responsibility to respond in love because we belong to a God who calls Himself love.

Galatians 5:22-24 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. ²⁴ And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

We can’t walk in this love that has a string of expressions if we do not “crucify the flesh” which means to make the flesh and its passions and desires die to itself and instead obey and bow to the King. Having grace for others when we disagree is about listening openly, being slow to speak lest you find your heart desiring to offend on purpose and being in full control of your emotions lest you boil over too quickly and ruin the relationship. We are all on a journey of learning, none of us have it all figured out. Therefore, to stand so firmly on an opinion or a preference may cause far more damage to what is of greater importance to the Lord, which is our love for one another and our love for God Himself. (Matt 22. 35-40) In Matt 22 The Pharisee’s and the Sadducee’s spent a lot of energy and time arguing with Jesus. He was bringing the kingdom but they were more concerned with what they thought about what Jesus was doing rather then to see Jesus for who He was. In all their arguing & questioning of Jesus, He remained open to listen and teach. They all stood silent before Him and of His knowledge and understanding of scripture. He said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.” Fighting, arguing, and jockeying position. None of that proceeds from love.

Let us walk in love and with mouths for love!

All is grace,

Starla