I was listening to the John Maxwell podcast drifting in and out of thought when all the sudden one of the host said this:

What is the greatest lesson that you have ever learned? Who did you learn it from? And why?

John Maxwell Podcast

Immediately my mind went back to a particular song by Mazzy Star called Fade Into You. I saw the face of a boy that I was dating when I was 19 and lived in California.

I thought that it was strange that of all the things that I have ever learned over the last 22 years in life through motherhood, marriage and ministry were not the first thing on the list. The thing that I learned the greatest lesson from way back then was when I was dating a boy and I had cheated on him with another guy. He would have never known that I did that, but I felt so guilty. It was the first and only time that I’d ever done that. It felt awful , so awful, that I told on myself. He was devastated and heartbroken. I tried to win him back but he never did speak to me again.

3 LESSONS LEARN

1. How you treat people matters:

I learned that I was capable of destroying people. I learned that once things have broken like that, they rarely go back together. Not only did I break his heart, I broke mine. This act of betrayal sent me down a spiraling path a pain, guilt, sadness and drug use. People are God given gifts to us. How we treat them matter to Him and should matter to us.

2. My actions have consequences:

Back then I was the girl that seemed to get away with everything. I kept myself on the move. I rarely stayed in one spot or with one group of people. I didn’t have to bear the consequences very often but that time it nailed me. It felt awful to have someone never want to see my face again. What we do has consequences for good or for evil. We put it out there and it comes back it’s just a matter of time.

3. Speak the truth no matter what:

Even though it hurt and even though the consequences were rough, I learned that in the long run, speaking that truth freed me to grow through it instead of run from it. Living a lie is worse than dealing with the consequences of the truth. Growth comes from speaking the truth no matter what and letting God show us how to make lemonade out of the lemons in life.

I don’t know where that guy is now but I hope he’s happy. I know that the greatest gift that he could ever gave me was to leave me because 4 months later I would meet my husband. Through the 22 years that we have been together that one lesson learned has been the root of decisions that I’ve made that have saved my marriage and I am eternally grateful.

God is good and knows what you need to learn when you need to learn it.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Thanks for listening,

Starla