Reading:  Days of Deepening Friendship by Vinita Hampton Wright

Her site and to buy this book : http://deepeningfriendship.loyolapress.com/

Chapter 8 : When it is hard to come to God??

Excerpt : It’s never God who gets in the way of our growing relationship. It’s always something on our end of the situation. Often out own emotional habits get in the way. Our psychological mindset can get in the way. And sometimes it’s simply harsh life experiences that makes it difficult for us to enter the Room and be open to God. Pain..shame..anger..fear do these slow down your steps as you approach the Room? Have they formed their own agendas in your soul, to the point you don’t really know what your deepest desires are?

I think we have all been here…I have. The pain of my past gripping my ankles forbidding me to live in the present. The shame I carried as a result of actions I took to free myself of where I was. The anger I had that I was somehow dealt the raw end of the stick. The fear that I am just not good enough for Him to love. I have walked through all these, forgiven myself and released the emotions to the Lord yet here and there they crop up to haunt me….like monkeys on my back. I use to let them keep me from entering the sanctuary of silence with my Lord. Now I just take them with me if they are there and I lay them down again …KNOWING that He knows what to do with them.

Walking through these things feels just like what the author Vinita adds as a poem:

I used to avoid my dad when

I’d driven a splinter into my finger or toe;

I knew he’d sterilize a needle and not stop

digging until the thing was out.

There must always be a cut or puncture,

I suppose because foul things never leave

on their own, Lord, I wouldn’t mind

admitting what’s in here if we could

deal with it minus the procedure.

Isn’t that the truth…we would gladly rid ourselves of much of the pain,shame, anger, and fear….if we just didn’t have to go through the process. We seriously want POOF!!! its gone!!

I know I did.

There is a silver lining…..walking through it gives you the privilege of holding your Makers hand as He slowly introduces you to WHO HE SEE’s when He looks at you!

Just that thought makes me smile :0)   

HE THINKS WE ARE WORTH IT…I am so glad He does ….when we can’t even get off the floor from crying, hiding, evading, denying and trying to just feel normal….He says COME TO ME!!

Go ahead Just Go….He’s waiting

The Next Thursday Thought: https://starleeta.wordpress.com/2010/08/05/letting-go-and-saying-yes/