Two -faced: This is often seen in relationships as saying one thing to one person but saying something else to the other. The type of situation where someone is in the middle of two sides that are quarreling with eachother. This is a very difficult situation to be in….in the middle I mean. Where the two opposing sides are stating their case of what happen and why it hurt them and are looking for justification for their behavior and for their feelings.

Sometimes when you end up in the middle of a situation like this…the two sides are so angry and frustrated with eachother that when the mediator goes to one or the other to help reconcile they get called “TWO-FACED” and not to mention at times called….backstabber.

When I think of this kind of situation I wonder why would the person in the middle be Two – Faced if they are seeking peace and unity between the two parties…yes yes at times you will have those that seek to broaden the contention. I am saying …if there true motivation is unity and not discord..this can not be called two-faced…we call this two-faced because we are angry, we want justification, we want the other person to say they were wrong and we DONT want some mediator seeking PEACE until we are good and ready and the other person has paid the price of doing us wrong.

People with a peace keeping heart are often vulnerable to this two-faced title. Could it be that it is not two-faced but it is responding to each their underlying need and giving equal consideration to each. Feelings are often irrational but they speak of some deep seated need that we have. That is why we react – or flesh out!…we dont always readily see the root of why we reacted to another the way that we did. We react because that is easier than finding the hurt and pain anothers actions have triggered. Its easier -we think- than to be open and communicating our pain.

So back to calling others two-faced – In the Bible Paul said:

1Cr 10:33   Even as I please all [men] in all [things], not seeking mine own profit, but the [profit] of many, that they may be saved.

He took the time to be a friend to each. To love them no matter their differences and he did this for their help them…to bring them into truth. To each I am sure he love differently based on their specific needs.

Act 10:34 …Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:

As followers of God ..made in His image …we are not to be respecting one person over another…no favortism. We are to treat each person kindly. Love each in the ways they need love. Care about the hurts of each person even if the two sides differ…they each need something….doing that is not Two-faced…it is LOVE.

It is only two-faced if what our goal is -is to keep these people hating eachother.

Just a thought!

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Kelly Byrn says:

    I agree that most people seeking to make peace get a bad label. Being in the middle especially of 2 friends has got to be the worst! Definitely something to keep in mind the next time I find myself putting someone in the middle, they shouldn’t have to be there in the first place. 😉 Great post Starla!!


  2. Samantha says:

    Very good. I like it.

    And I agree.


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