The Books I Read In 2024

1. Don’t be Nice, Be real by Kelly Bryson
2. Help. Thanks, Wow by Ann Lamott
3. Dangerous Duty of Delight by John Piper
4. A night without armor by Jewel
5. The Word in the Wilderness by Malcom Guite
6. When women were birds by Terry Tempest Williams
7. Commentary of John by RC Sproul
8. Atomic Habits James Clear
9. Wintering by Kathrine May

4,5,6 all had elements of poetry in them.

2,6,9 all had overcoming hardships.

1,8,9 help us to see and handle things in a new way.

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Books of the Bible I Studied In 2024

• Matthew
• Mark
• Luke
• John
• Titus
• 1 John
• 2 John
• 3 John
• Colossians
• Joel
• Amos

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Thoughts Roaming Before Bed:

The other night as I was snuggling in for the night to sleep. I was praying and thinking and suddenly I was putting on the armor of God and having lots of thoughts about that.

THE WHOLE ARMOR OF GOD

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Book I am Currently Reading

The book I am currently reading is A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. I thought I would share some quotes.

From the Foreword by Madeleine L’Engle:

• What we work out in our journals we don’t take out on family and friends.

• Healthy grief gives us permission to admit our own doubts, and own our angers and anguishes, and to know that they are part of the soul’s growth.

From the Introduction by Douglas H. Gresham, who is the stepson of C.S. Lewis describes it is one mans studied attempts to come to grips with and in the end defeat the emotional paralysis of the most shattering grief of his life.

• All human relationships end in pain.

• The greater the love the greater the grief, and the stronger the faith the more savagely will Satan storm its fortress.

From C.S. Lewis

• No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.

• No one ever told me about the laziness of grief.

• The question of “Where is God?” is the most disquieting symptoms.

I am not yet through this book. Looking at grief and things that cause us great sorrow is uncomfortable but none the less necessary, as we will all walk through such things. When I was a young girl, about age 7, a great grandfather died. Everyone was hurrying around getting ready for a funeral. I remember food being made, and people talking about words that were scary, like death, died, buried, gone, and mentions of seeing him one last time in the casket. I was horrified. I don’t know how it happened, but somehow, I managed to get out of going to the funeral. I was left behind with a few other people who were getting things ready for those who would return when it was finished. I don’t remember anyone trying to help me understand what was happening. I learned I wanted nothing to do with death. I grew up with an auto-ability to emotionally distance myself from that kind of thing. When my godfather died, I spoke at his funeral with my sister next to me. I shed a tear, while my sister cried her eyes out. When one of my best friends was murdered. I just went numb and dull, like it happened in a dream. I didn’t cry about it for years and years. When my Grammy passed away again more of the same. There was just this distant otherness to death that I had learned to see it but let it pass by without grieving.

But then my Grandma P passed away. I had been her part time helper. We saw each other every week for many years. When she died, I had just finished a year and a half process of getting her affairs in order. I was with her for her final hour of life. Listening to her breathing shallow. I prayed over her, talked to her, and sang to her until she took her last breath. They had me gather her important things and I walked out the door in the middle of the night on Jan 10. I got in my car and started to shake, and I heard my phone ringing. I accidentally called someone while my phone was in my pocket. I heard, “Hello, Hello.” I answered back and found myself barfing all my tears and sadness and she listened to me. She held space for me. The next morning my daughter was over. A few people called. A couple texted. And many gave condolence on Facebook. After a few days, I reflected on those last moments, the phone call, and that first couple days – I realized how important it is to show up for others when death walks into their lives.

As I write this, my neighbor V. knocked on the door and tells us that S. has cancer and it’s not good. They will be leaving tomorrow to go to her home country. We may never see her again. She is the most loving, kind, giving person. I will miss our conversations in the yard and how she continually loved my son.

Life just keeps travelling forward with or without you.

As V. said when he was standing in my living room, “Don’t waste time.”

Pray for them – cancer is a rough and terrible road.

Thanks for listening,

Starla