Persuasion and leadership:

Thought from the in-between

Have you ever noticed that if you allow a moment of frustration to pass without acting on the frustration but rather choosing humility to take care of what is needed to care for in the moment that perspective snaps back into place, leaving you with lesson instead of more trouble?

Sometimes my personality attitudes flare when I think someone is using me to do something they could do themselves. But in this particular case, after I submitted to the process that I would handle what it was, I found the lesson under the ask. You don’t find those without humility, or at the very least without surrender to the process.

Oh, how we love to fight the process because we think we know what is – but I have found more often than not that I know not much, other than my knee jerk reactionary ways, that were learned so long ago it’s a shame.

These moments are called dying to self. The self that thinks it is right, knows, it entitled, and ought to be revered. That self must and will die a thousand deaths over a lifetime if we will be a follower of Christ.

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 

Matthew 16:24-25

We try to save our lives over and over again. Putting up roadblocks to lessons and refusing to bend thinking we are full of strength and refusal to be (add whatever fits for you) in a place of weakness again. Old ways don’t bring new paths. But new allowances of humility certainly do reveal new life and opportunity to grow. Sadly, and often, I am too prideful to hear the call to come and learn. But not this time. Thank you, Lord.

Some Relationship Advice – or common sense

First just let me say, I’ve been one of those people who want my male humans in my life to use the right words. Why? Cause I am finicky. Does that work ..no..but still…

Finicky: fussy about one’s needs or requirements.

However. Male humans are a lot less complicated than we think. I get hyper-focused on words and miss stuff. A friend of mine gave me a line of truth in a question form that I have been ruminating on for some time, I have since chilled out a bit. A BIT! I am still me and I like being talked to real nice. Just saying!

What’s that line of truth?

Can you let his actions be his answer?

Pastor Lindsay Garrison

I heard a mother’s giving pointers to her daughter the other day and it was real true and real simple:

• If he is calling – he likes you. If he is not – he doesn’t.
• If he keeps his word – he likes you. If he doesn’t – he doesn’t.
• If he is consistent – he is in. If he is inconsistent – he is out.
• If he calls you just to talk – he likes you. If he only calls when he wants something – he’s using you.
• If he starts random arguments – he is lying or cheating on you.
• If he is investing in you – he is in. If he is not, he’s not really interested in you.
• If you haven’t met his family – he’s not in for the long haul.
• If you’ve been together 5 years and he hasn’t married you – he’s still looking. You’re a placeholder.

Male humans are not complicated they are easy to know. They don’t talk with words they talk with actions. I talk with words, and I hear words intently. However, this “let the actions be the answer” shows me the heart behind words.

My male humans shower me with little food gifts. I wonder what that says about me?? lol My husband knows by the placement of my hands and the form my fingers are making (which I do not notice – automatic body movements) when I do not like something. He will straight up ask, “What’s wrong, what’s the matter?” Kinda nice someone notices when I don’t and cares to ask.

Dealing with Depression and Death

My post from over on Substack this month:

https://starlalala77.substack.com/p/the-darkest-day-of-the-year

Thanks for listening,

Starla