Have you ever met someone that you would say, “I know they got a bad attitude, but they have a good heart.” Most the time that is a statement we make when someone’s bad behavior reflects on them badly, but we know them in a deeper way. We know that they help people and care a lot.

Sometimes when I have a statement fly out of my mouth, like this title, I said, “They have good hearts but bad manners.” I like to play a little pondering game, where I look at something from multi-angles.

First of all, the Bible says, that we have hearts that are desperately wicked, and we don’t even know it. It also says, that in Christ we have new hearts that have been recreated.

This is the difference between BC (before Christ) me and after!

We were promised in Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

That heart of stone is what we started out with. But this promised heart, as 2 Cor. 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. This is the heart we are given when we believe in Jesus.

But Starla, “some so called Christians don’t act like they have a new heart!” Yep! I know. That heart change hasn’t made it to their attitudes, mouths, and behaviors.

Here’s the thing – if we just make people change – that is called behavior modification. We have to be careful that we don’t just want people to conform to our social norms. But rather ask God to do a work in them, because when God does the work in us, when we submit to the process, we transform. And the work sticks. We truly become different than we were before.

So, where are you? Have you pondered that? In what ways do you have a good heart, but you still have bad manners? For instance, are you nice to others because that is expected but you aren’t actually kind? Kindness is not niceness. Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. Niceness is an expected norm or a social mask. Kindness is a choice to be like Jesus. Niceness is pleasant, even perhaps polite but kindness goes the extra step and offers help, it requires more of the giver. We bless because we’ve been blessed.

To become kind, we have to go beyond nice. To become anything like Christ we have to practice what Christ has given us. We have to let His Spirit work in and through us. In order to have a good heart that reflects His goodness – we have to walk through the suffering of learning from our bad manners, becoming humble, turning from the old way of doing things, and choosing to let the good heart recreated in Christ – shine!

It’s called sanctification. The processes of letting go of all we were and allowing God to make us into what He has recreated us to be.

I thought, “well since we are pondering, what are the ways that people tend to have bad manners that cover over a good heart?”

Love – allowance

Joy – circumstantial happiness

Peace – detachment or control

Patience – being still

Kindness – niceness

Goodness – moralism

Faithfulness – convenience

Gentleness – passivity

Self-control – suppression

I can see a few of these that show my lack of good-hearted manners, where I don’t live up to what Jesus has for me.

Lord, I ask for help. Help me to be actually full of your joy and not just circumstantially happy. Help me to be patient instead of just keeping my mouth shut trying to be still. I repent of trying to act like I have the spirit at work and ask for You, Holy Spirit, to come and do the work in me that I can’t do.

Thanks for listening,

Starla