Sometimes I have so much thought that it is difficult to focus:

• Finish the chapter
• Write that down in Hello Monday
• Go back to that podcast – its so interesting
• Take a sip of coffee.
• Clean up the kitchen.
• Don’t forget to get rye bread, sauerkraut, and thousand island.
• Is there anything you want to highlight in this chapter?
• Answer that text.
• Watch that TikTok Jen sent.
• Why did that plant fall over??
• Kitty wants to cuddle..
• Oh my goodness, go wake up David!
• Don’t forget about that prayer request.

I finished reading that chapter ….but in the middle of it I read, “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.” A well-known children’s prayer from the 18th century. I remember learning as a kid but never went to church or knew anything about God.

But it was the trail of thinking as I read it…. about my son that caught me off guard. I thought:

Have I taught him anything?…

My son turned 16 on Sunday. And my eyes well with tears and wonder, “Have I taught him how to pray? Have I taught him how to go to God for anything, everything?” This feels so hard for me to answer because a core memory for me of his life has been, his little 3-year-old self, waving me off from helping him do anything. With a loud chorus sung from his little lungs and his big soul cries, ” I CAN DO IT!” He is a force to be reckoned with. He is able to do anything he puts his mind too. He works hard. Plays hard. And tries new things through the fear of pain, hurt, or can’t do it.

Something I read:

Self-awareness is simple. No deep insight or analysis is required. Yet most of us lack the simple skill. Instead, we habitually blame, punish, and project. Or we terribly “nice people smile” and pretend that we are not bleeding internally. Self-awareness simply requires honest self-responsibility. We express what is alive and truly going on within us. We are congruent when we say what we are feeling. That means our face, gestures, and tones are all in connection with that feeling.

Kelly Bryson

Something Sad: Ms. Shirley Douthart passed away. Shirley was one of the oldest Matriarchs of our church. Her family and my family were the only families with 4 generations in the church.

Now it’s just us. Daves dad, Dave, our daughter Sarah and her kids.

Shirley taught my husband in Sunday School when he was a kid. She was our daughter’s first piano teacher. I attended her and Wanda’s prayer group on Thursdays for a couple of years. They prayed for me to receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit and prayed for my marriage when I was struggling. Shirley was one of those ladies that you just knew you wanted to be your prayer warrior. It sort of feels like the prayer covering of our church has passed away.

Jen and I have felt on and off for the last several years – we would do prayer sets on Wed mornings and then switched to Thursday mornings. It was almost like mini prayer campaigns. We have felt called to start again.

We will miss Ms. Shirley. She was a light. A delight. A prayer warrior. A rock and a pillar to many.

She would say, ” I’m just a servant.” All for Jesus.

It’s worth reflecting on the idea that certain things and certain things only have been ‘assigned to our brush’, given to us to work with, know, and describe. It reminds me strongly of the Prayer Book petition that we should, ‘do all such good works as thou hast prepared for us to walk in’. Most of us are under pressure, external and internal, to do everything, be good at everything, and be accountable to everyone for everything! It is not so. In the divine economy, each of us has a particular grace, gift, and devotion. Finding out what that is and learning how to be guilt-free about not doing everything else may
be part of what our Lenten journey is for.

Malcolm Guite

Thanks for Listening,

Starla