Poem: The Snow Gives Way

the cold turns brisk

It loses its bitter bite

Gray takes leave for ice blue

vivid tones of the morning

little parsley patches peek-a-boo

and the snow gives way to that which needs to be released

paper trash and heart garbage all the same

time to let it fade away with the cold

eyes opening to new displays and leadings

hands finding ways to mend and wipe away

grim and grit all held from last season

as we walk into the new day of spring

~Starla Smith

Thoughts I am having:

Pastor Tim, in his sermon on purity, mentioned emotional triggers that lead to knee jerk reactions. He said, “We don’t want to live with hair triggers!” Those are little things, even sensitive things that set us off. We don’t even know it’s happening. We are simply reacting. I had one of those moments this week. When I make a choice to do something – if someone questions me and I perceive a tone of interrogation – my knee jerk reaction is to retreat into my mind, barricade my heart, speak very little, giving just the bare minimum of detail. If that response is interpreted as being evasive or not telling the truth. And I feel unsafe to share. I come out of the castle with swords and a cold heart. Like the ice queen from Narnia.

This knee jerk reaction takes me back to 11-14 years old. I felt threatened with another’s anger. I felt boxed in and unable to speak the truth. I felt mischaracterized. I felt untrusted. I felt fear. I experienced lots of drama, trauma, unrest, and at times silence. I run mentally from these kinds of situations. Because what I experience in the normal-est of terms is flight and fight. And if I get into fight mode, I’ve lost myself completely and this little terrified girl who ran in the night and fled away, never to return, all those years ago comes alive again.

Hair triggers are scary – they are emotional loaded guns.

A Song: This song came up in my remembrance this week. I heard it for the first time many, many years ago. It encourages me every time I hear it.

Interesting Quote:

There is a difference between truth and our understanding of truth.
This takes a certain level of humility.

Dr. Stephen E. Jones

Thanks for Listening,

Starla