Changes: This year spring seems to be coming early. I am not complaining. I did see a young friend of mine on Facebook say, “But we’ve only had 2 weeks of winter.” I giggled. It is kind of true. All the snow for winter fell in the first two weeks of January. But hey, that groundhog didn’t see his shadow so, “Spring is coming” LOL

Quote I read:

Nothing eliminates a sense of connection to others more effectively than the way contemporary schooling teaches students that their own success depends on their ability to do better than others.

Spirit Matters by Michael Lerner

This rings true. The only one we have to do better than is our yesterday self. This is how we learn and grow. Plus, when we pit ourselves against others, we sever the connection between us that has commonality. It is the shared struggle that often builds connection. Whenever I have been in a comparison match with those around me. I have always lost. “Better than” thinking creeps in and suddenly – I stop caring about them and suddenly I just have to do better, be better, and look better. As this book I am reading says, “Loss of connection drains emotional strength from us and destroys our ethical compass.“

Another interesting tidbit: Language that hides the truth that we have a choice – sounds like, “Should, have to, must, can’t, had to.” Ampsprachen – German word that basically means “Bureaucratese” — you know “political speak.” It is “responsibility denying” language those in institutions will use saying things like, “I had no choice, I was following orders.” This makes me wonder if we all have this inner bureaucrat that uses this kind of language against us and others, where we feel like we have no choice because we should be doing this or doing that. Or they should be! Something to thinking about…

I am in a 28-day Observation challenge of how often I use the word should against myself. The first week I should’ed myself for not doing more. The second week I should’ed myself in a delayed reaction to someone else’s comment. This week I should’ed someone else. I have noticed other’s using should language also.

Why is “should” language so detrimental to us? Because it is language that removes the freedom of choice. When I use “should” language I am essentially trespassing on free will. Mine and others.

Quote I liked:

Watering Hole: Loyalty

A watering hole is when you stop to take a drink. This is what I like to call pondering. I used to write “watering hole” posts on this blog. If you use the search bar you will find them. They were mostly Sunday church reflections.

Yesterday at church, my son in law gave the message. The message was called “Loyalty in a disposable society.” One of the main verses was from the book of James.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. ²³ Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror ²⁴ and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. ²⁵ But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

James 1:22-25

He mentioned that the word loyalty only appears a little more than a handful of times, but the principle of loyalty appears hundreds of times, like this verse above. He mentioned three main things about loyalty.

1. Loyalty is an action, not a declaration.
2. Loyalty is given, not earned.
3. Loyalty cannot be bought.

What struck me the most about this message was that loyalty is a characteristic of God because loyalty is a word that fitly describes faithfulness. God’s faithfulness.

If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself.

2 Tim 2:13

But while loyalty is something that we prize as a characteristic of God, many of us don’t believe in it for ourselves. We’ve learned differently. (not that we can’t learn to be loyal people as we follow after a loyal God but rather maybe we’ve never considered what we actually think about loyalty based on our own experiences) After church I had a conversation with my friend. As we pondered and mused about the service, the topic, and what we thought. We landed on the fact that we found to be true , for some…people have let them down so often that they simply don’t hold out for it. They’re conclusion is that no one is loyal.

And for me, I grew up moving from place to place. I can name 13 different schools that I went to before I was 14 years old. I learned very quickly that people come, and people go because that is how my parents lived their lives. I didn’t make connections that lasted.

Do people tend to become more loyal when they live in one place?

Living with the same people over a lifetime…

As I grew and now have been in one place for 26 years. I still believe people come and people go. I don’t hold to tightly. I’ve learned if you hold too tight when someone is leaving – the tearing of heart is greater. Instead, I just open up pretty quickly – take it or leave it.

I am so thankful to God for His loyalty to us. He never leaves us or forsakes us. He is with us always.

Thanks for listening,

Starla