Watering Hole: Wrestle

The Watering Hole is a virtual stopping space in the midst of our crazy, hectic, and wildly beautiful week to week lives.

This week’s questions:

1. How do you think questioning God can become a strengthening moment for your faith?

2. Spend some time identifying things you might need to wrestle with God over so you can embrace His love for you. 

3. Ask someone to pray and stand with you as you let your pain, doubts, and difficulties drive you to God. 

I am a type 1 on the enneagram. When I do something, I want it done well and as darn near perfect as I can get it. The trouble is I also think this way when it comes to faith, and let’s face it my faith is far messier than perfection. The scripture says in Hebrews 1:11 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Do you see my problem already? Faith is the assurance of things that we hope for, yeah hope for, which means intangible things. The things that are not yet in hand. The scripture emphasizes that this faith is the conviction of things not seen, meaning to know that you know about the things that you can not see. I think in much more concrete terms than the definition of faith allows. So questioning God is a thing that I practice all the time. I believe that questioning does strengthen me in my journey with God because I allow myself to ask questions and find answers. I am allowed to ponder and stew on things that don’t make sense to me. God does not hold my questioning against me He welcomes the dialog and likes the interaction with me. He enjoys my inquisitiveness. Therefore, it is not a weakness it’s a strength. 

The wrestling moments of this week consist of:

  • Why, Lord, would you take a husband home to be with you two months after he retired and right in the middle of them having such a lovely time together? They were acting like they were teenagers again. It was just days after their wedding anniversary and her birthday. Why? 
  • Why Lord did a young mother kill herself. What happened? What about her daughter? What could we have done differently? Lord, what now? This situation hurts and reminds me of my godfather and his suicide.  
  • What kind of dream was that? Is it a warning? Something I watched or ate? 

I am so thankful for the people in my life, my husband and close friends. I can talk to them anytime and pray with me when I am struggling. I know it is not easy being vulnerable amid our pain and struggles, but everything we bring out into the light is transformative. As long as we think these things questions need to hide away from others, and we can do this on our own, the longer we suffer needlessly without the hope and help we desire. As Pastor Chad shared with us last Sunday, when we grieve and lament as many did throughout the scriptures, we enter the process of healing. Just because we are wrestling with questions doesn’t mean we are faithless or full of doubt. Wrestling is still embracing, and questions are an indication of our faith being worked out in real-time!

Anytime we enter into the ring of life with the Lord is a good day!

All is grace,

Starla

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.

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