My daughter is 11. She is beginning to vocalize that she is more emotional now. She is telling me that she feels like her emotions are taking over. Expressing that she does not like it.
So we had a conversation about Feelings…
Know how you feel, then do something about it. Our emotions tell us what is going on with in us. If we take a moment to ask ourselves – why do I feel this way? Then when we know that…then we can decide what to do about it.
Like with my daughter…she told me that she feels lonely. I asked her why? She said because she doesn’t get to spend any time with her dad. I asked her – so what are you going to do about it?? She said I could ask him if he wants to do something together. I said good idea!!
This is called moving in a positive direction. Often times we feel what we feel but we sit in it. We don’t make a determination about it. We just sit down and sulk. This is not productive and it doesn’t do anything for solving the problem.
So I asked her what she was gonna ask him to do. She said I don’t know. I told her that this is also part of doing something about it. How often do we say what we feel to someone but not offer what we need from them or any solutions on how to solve the problem to get what we want. Most the time we just hint or in her case – when she would have asked her dad if they could do something together and he would say like what? Her answer would be I don’t know. Knowing my husband I don’t know means you havent really thought about it and so it must not be that important. She would then return to feeling lonely.
She thought about it.
Later when he came home I told him that his daughter wanted to talk to him and that he should put on his HEART HEARING EARS…lol.
So at dinner he said – So Sarah is there something you want to ask me? – Yes…with a sheepish smile. I want to spend some time with you, we could go ice fishing together. He said yes …but here is the funny part. This girl must really want to spend time with her dad. She picked to go out on a frozen pond. Knowing no one else would want to come. Knowing that when he goes fishing it is an all day thing…cause he wont just go for 2 hours…lol..SMART GIRL!! She wanted TIME with him…and she found a way to get it. :0)
I am so proud of her for taking the time to learn about working with her emotions. If she gets the lesson….she will be far ahead of many in being stable when the heat of emotional rollercoaster roars!!